I feel so sad right now I want to punch every wall I want to slap myself I want to let it all out... I am so angry, sad, lonely and depressed.. I can't do anything but cry..
I just lost one of my loved cats..... I can't... I don't want him to leave.. I'm so stupid.. for the past 2 days no wonder I kept on dreaming about ghosts, killing and cat dying.. huhuhu I'm so stupid I didn't notice something bad was gonna happen..
yesterday a glass broke and I got cut a bit.. I also kept on having Deja Vu like something bad was going to happen..
I can't take it.. I wasn't even able to hug him so tight.. he was one my favorite cats.. he was such a good cat.. he was so nice even to visitors in the house.. I regret for not giving him so much attention lately.. I didn't know that today he was going to leave me.. I don't want this.. it hurts so much.. I already lost 1 cat already(she was a good cat too) now this.. my cat's name is Eli.. and it just hurts.. I'm going to miss everything about him.. nononononono...
I was planning to update my MMD and continue making videos but this happen.. I am so in downfall right now I can't make any videos..
It's so annoying how similar it was to my previous cat who died too..
I was 1st year in High School when I lost my cat and now I am 1st year in college when I lost Eli..
It was march 14 when I lost my cat, chookie and now it's October 4.. I hate 4 already.. although it's my b-day.. I hate it! I also lost a dog too..
There was an exam the day the after March 14 when I lost Chookie and now, tomorrow is an exam too..
I can't.. Eli.. why did you leave?? Why?? huhuhuhu
I hate loss.. I hate death.. I hope they never exist.. T^T
I can't explain what I'm feeling I just can't stop crying... I want to bring him back I wanna go back in time.. I want to wake the stupid me who didn't notice those warning signs.. I'm so stupid!!